Buffy Has a Bad Day
by The Mikado
Summary: Basically what the title says. Written during season four, very funny.


It was a normal day in the life of Buffy Summers. That is to say she got up, went  
  
to class, killed a few demons, went home, did homework, patrolled, killed even more  
  
demons and went to sleep. That was the problem.  
  
Buffy knew that somewhere in all that slaying goodness she had totally lost all  
  
possession of what anyone would call, "a life." Sure she sometimes saw Willow and the  
  
Scooby Gang, but instead of discussing how hot Riley looked they discussed new staking  
  
techniques. "Cheer up," she thought to herself, "at least I don't have leukemia!" Not yet  
  
anyway.  
  
Buffy stalked the streets of Sunnydale, just waiting for some unlucky vampire to  
  
come along so she could have something to brighten the monotony of the day. She turned  
  
her head slightly, pushing blonde strands out of her eyes, hand tightening on the stake as  
  
she heard a rustling noise from the left.  
  
A small smile quirking on her lips she watched as the usual vampiric goon popped  
  
out, fangs at the ready. Walking alone at night through dark secluded woods, never failed  
  
to turn up some jerk looking for a quick bite. She ducked as he lumbered towards her, fist  
  
snapping out towards his stomach. He backed up a pace, but was not deterred.  
  
Somewhere in that small brain of his the thought that this wasn't the usual victim swam  
  
through his head, but he brushed it aside as he lunged for her neck.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes; boy was this guy a bit slow on the uptake. She punched his  
  
face in, taking the time to jab the stake in his heart. Poof. Instant dust.  
  
"Thanks for brightening my day."  
  
The fight had taken all of five minutes. Buffy sighed and continued on her nightly  
  
rounds. The problem with demon hunting was that it left no time for a social life. There  
  
was always someone trying to take over the world, or killing the entire human race, or  
  
wiping their hands on her towel.  
  
The night faded, as she headed towards home. She had stayed out later than usual,  
  
determined to make some other shit as miserable as she was. It hadn't work. She felt as  
  
rotten as she had earlier, but the world had lost several demons.  
  
Entering the dorm, she ignored the witch riding on a broomstick writing  
  
BEWARE BUFFY in clouds. Crazy demons. As she turned the key and entered the  
  
room, Buffy glanced enviously down at Willow, who was sleeping soundly on the other  
  
bed. Growling she slipped out of her clothing and curled up in the bed.  
  
It felt like she had just gotten to sleep, when she was awakened by a loud hair  
  
raising scream followed by jets of icy air. Opening her eyes she stared up at a horrific  
  
monster. It towered over Buffy, as she lay curled in her bed, gnashing its large teeth at  
  
her.  
  
"I'm going to kill you, Buffy Summers, and I'm going to leave your body here for  
  
your friends to find, and I'm going to take that leopard skin bra, no one knows you have,  
  
and I'm going to run it up the flag pole, and I'm going to..."  
  
"Oh shut up! Do you know what I've been through in the last few hours? I have  
  
come to the realization that my life is meaningless! That I might as well be dead. And  
  
then you have the nerve to come into my room, at 5:00 in the morning and threaten my  
  
undies with exposure? Never mind the fact that I've had a hard and emotionally  
  
dehabilitating day. Never mind that I have mid terms tomorrow. It's just 'Slay the  
  
demon, Buffy.' ' I'll kill you, Buffy.' No one cares about my needs! My sleep! Is a little  
  
consideration too much to ask for?"  
  
The demon looked surprised, it tried to come in with a rejoinder, but was cut off as  
  
Buffy continued her tirade.  
  
"And another thing. About that whole destiny business. I don't believe in destiny  
  
anymore. We make our own fate. So you can take that stake and you know what you can  
  
do with it. I'm tired of sacrificing my goals to kill vampires, and stop the Apocalypse.  
  
From now on it's all about me!" Buffy gave the demon a look that would freeze paint.  
  
The demon opened its mouth and closed it again. "Oh, this is just too much." It  
  
dissolved into a little pile of dust.  
  
"Are you not listening to me! How dare you dissolve on me! You reconstruct  
  
right now do you hear me?"  
  
Willow, opened her eyes. She may have missed the demon but there was no way  
  
she could miss Buffy's screaming. "What is it? Buffy, are you okay?" She scrambled  
  
towards Buffy, knocking all obstacles out of her way.  
  
"That...*demon* dissolved at me!"  
  
"That, is what they are supposed to do, Buffy. I mean you are here to kill them  
  
and all that." Willow tried to be reassuring.  
  
"BUT I WASN'T FINISHED YET!"  
  
"It's okay, Buffy."  
  
"That's the problem with demons these days. They have no consideration for the  
  
Slayer. Here am I, slaying left and right and when I ask for a little attention, they kill  
  
themselves..." 


End file.
